4 Hour Panny Banging

Yep, its as dirty as it sounds. Panny, I love you. But damnit, shave your backhair, please. When Im doing ya from behind my dick gets lost in your back hair and it goes all soft in distress. That puts a real damper on my mood, and I dont even feel like giving you the reach around. How is a Hermaphrodite supposed to cope with this kinda distraction? Other than that, sex has been great lately. Thanks.

So I am supposed to make fun of Panny for 4 hours, ok..here it goes.

Everyone remember that story about Panny hurting his ass by falling off the chair? Hahaha. Yeah, total lie. Its safe now to come out of the closet Panny, but dont be wearing my penny loafers again. You stretched them out farther than J-Lo's ass the last time you wore them. I wouldnt say you have the IQ of a minnow Panny, because afterall, you are MY bitch thats gotta stand for something, but perhaps a Crap. Carp. Same thing. Now now, dont cry, you know your mine and Id never hurt you. Kinda. But you DID ask to be made fun of, right? So I thought of you as I was making a PB (chunky)&J sandwhich. I saw your face midst the spread and thought "hmm, shes hot".. oh wait, that spread was some porn, my bad. So I saw your face in the Jam and thought you looked really nice with a strawberry for an eye. I cant say much for the two peanuts down below though. Not too impressive. Perhaps we can get my Agent Ho to look into that and get some pills for you to take to increase their size. Like, beachball size. Yeah, then I can float on them in the water. I'll hear "Hey, nice balls"...and wave and smile. Of course theyd be talking to you, but Id answer, because Im like that.

Okay, time to go... was this 4 hours? No. But now that Im thinking of you, nature calls. As you can imagine. We WILL continue this discus'. Oh yes.

Hermie\a

Pee or DIE Bitch !!!

I was educating myself on some drugs that the good ole US of A has available, and I came across one that...well, made me glad I am the twisted hermaphrodite that I am, instead of a pregnant horse. Yes, I'm talking about " Premarin ". Premarin is a drug that is used as an estrogen replacement therapy, to relieve hormonal deficency symptoms associated with menopause or hysterectomy. In other words, Hermie has an idea for an Xmas gift for Mommy Dearest this Xmas. What caught my eye about this drug..is the target ingredient.

Pregnant Mare Urine..aka.. PMU

Now, whats also fun to know, is that there are actually PMU farms that exist, solely for this drug. What a fun job THAT is...collecting the golden ingredient. Its golden, right? Someone.. find out and let me know ASAP, I wont sleep until I know the answer. So, lets read up a bit on how its collected, shall we? Yes. Lets.

Mares enter the collection barns in September and remain until March or
April. Each mare is kept tethered in a narrow stall with a rubber cup positioned
over her vulva to collect the urine flow. Typically, barren or unproductive
mares are sent to the slaughterhouse.

Now dont get all freaked out n shit, Im not gonna ramble on about animal rights. Im just thinking that...this cannot be comfy. Having something cupped over your cunt for 6 months. I wouldnt know, obviously. But I am assuming. If anyone has any first hand knowledge about this, see me immediately so I may make fun of you for 4 hours straight. And stuff.

Vulva Slaps For All.

WTF?

Where in the fuck have I been?

In a dumpster? Picking up losers at a bar? Fingering my own ass for enjoyment? All of the above actually, yep. But, Im back, if anyone cares!

Digging..Burning

No. No digging. Im thinking burning. Yep. Burn the bitch. Watch as her little smoke rings of annoyance float up up up up into the sky to nag at the angles. Wait, angels? Hahahahaha.. Dont get excited mom, heaven isnt taking you willingly. No. Satan wont put up with your ass, so he is sending you up there instead. I bet God is banging his head on the clouds in frustration saying.. "Why am I compassionate, why am I compassionate, why am I compassionate.."

"Hermie, I never said those things to you."
"Yes you did bitch!"
"Well, I apologized for that." (Oh, but I thought you didnt say them? hmmm)
"No you didnt bitch!"
"Well, I said Im sorry I HAD to say them."

Now aint that an apology from hell? Fuck her. I dont need her approval on my life. I can stick my dick in anything I want to. I can slip any stick I wish up my hole. I can shower in either the mens or womens room. I dont need that cunt telling me what I should and shouldnt do.

BIATCH!!

Letter To Hermie's Mother...

Dear control freak,

Hey BITCH! How the fuck are you? Wait, dont answer that, because I could give a fucking SHIT LESS! You make all creatures big and small, experience pain and suffering. I thought about how I would feel if you died, but then CSI came on and I started fantasizing about how to kill you instead. I am such a disappointment to you, you skanky worthless bitch. GOOD!! Now step the fuck off and go fuck something. Surely SOMEONE will fuck that flea infested crotch of yours, right? Well, go put an ad on the internet then whore. I cant believe I came from such a horrible person. Growing up was shit. Moving out was glorious. Having my own life was wonderful, until you jabbed your blabbermouth hole for a face into it time and time again. You get off on this or something? Its because of you I know that why assholes all over the world, like yourself, are manipulative, contradictory and hypocritial. I own you BITCH. Oh yeah, I got your fucking number, and guess what? Its disconnection time slut.

all my fucking love
Hermie

Hermie's Problem

Like I have only one right?

Hermie has been a defiant piece of shit all their life. But as of late, Hermie's Mother has been extra special. And by extra special, I mean, bitchville, hole-less whore in heat, riding the cotton pony...the list goes on and on and on. So, Hermie has been extra careful about answering the phone, walking outside, or even breathing. Cuz that cunt has more than eyes in the back of her head, she has eyes on 3 legged squirrels in the trees to watch Hermie's every move. Because apparently Hermie needs to be watched. And suspected. And have 24/7 hermiesitting. Anyway, enough about the police. Back to Hermie's mother. Go away already. Christ, cut the cord. Skank.

Whitie Tighties ?

So, I got to thinking. Yes. I know. But I went ahead and kept thinking. Regardless. All this Pope poop, got my gears whirlin. I was thinking about Mary and Jesus and the crew. The long robes. Sandles. Sandals. Sandels. Shoes'n stuff. Anyway, my point... do you think they wore a version of underwear beneath those robes? I mean they didnt have "Hanes" or sumthin. So, what then? Strange shit iddinit?